Feel "I am existing"

          I AM EXISTING. Go deep into this feeling. Just sitting, go deep into this feeling -- I AM EXISTING, I AM. Feel it, don't think it, because you can say it in the mind -- I AM -- and it is futile. Your head is your undoing. Don't go on repeating in the head I AM, I AM EXISTING. It is futile, it is useless. You miss the point.

         Feel it deep down in your bones. Feel it all over your body. Feel it as a total unit, not in the head. Just feel it -- I AM. Don't use the words `I am'.


         Don't make it a mantra, and sitting, don't say, `I am existing.' There is no need. Everyone knows, and you know already that you are existing; there is no need, it is futile. Feel it -- I AM EXISTING. Feeling is a different thing, totally different. Thinking is a trick to escape from feeling. It is not only different, it is a deception.


          Try it. And you can do it anywhere. Just riding in a bus, or travelling in a train, or just sitting, or lying down on your bed, try to feel existence as it is; don't think about it. Suddenly you will become aware that you have not known many things which are continuously happening to you.

         When you start feeling your being, you will come to know the moods of your hands, of your eyes, of your nose, of your body. It is a big phenomenon; there are subtle nuances. The body goes on telling you and you are not there to hear it. And existence all around you goes on penetrating you in subtle ways, in many ways, in different ways, but you are not aware. You are not there to receive it, to welcome it.

         When you start feeling existence, the whole world becomes alive to you in a totally new way; you have not known it. Then you pass through the same street and the street is not the same, because now you are grounded in existence. You meet the same friends but they are not the same, because you are different. You come back to your house and the wife you have lived with for years is not the same.


         When you are rooted, you are one with the whole, and the existence exists for you. You are not a beggar; you become an emperor suddenly.


OSHO, "The book of Secrets", V.2, #19